Thy Cup Runneth Over!

Thy Cup Runneth Over…

I am lucky today. I sit in a warm apartment, I have everything I need or want. When the mood strikes I have paint, new brushes, an unused canvas. Beads and findings galore. Clay and polymer and gold leaf. An 'art cart', (my love procured 4 me) that had been abandoned in dark lonely parking lot. It is happy to house all my supplies and is treated with the utmost importance. I have books to spark the imagination. Food, snacks, whiskey & wine and smokes. TV, an internet connection, and a desire to learn more. A fiancé who works very hard and thinks about us in terms of 'WE'; so hard to find. I used to hate Valentine's Day, and have even been to an Anti-Valentine's private party where Combustable Edison played wearing polyester baby blue tuxedos in South Boston. I've had experiences beyond compare. Lived and died and lived somehow again. We have the greatest friends.

I am not bragging…

In this life, we must must must remember all these things. Things we have. There are so many have-nots that come up, glaring, blinding us with envy, many are far beyond what we could realistically even deal with. Even when I had nothing & no-one, I still painted. Some of my best work was done during that time. BUT Some things are intangible. Relationships with ourselves, others, significant others, friends, family, and the guy at the corner store... We cannot expect more than a person can give. Each of us are capable of different levels of availability-emotional, physical, spiritual. At that point, we need to re-asses our own capabilities. All of us have quirks, some of us have some major issues. We get back the same sort of energy we put out there in the world.  If our energy is messy… it is better to give the jig up and ask for help then keep wondering 'what am I doing wrong/to deserve this/not getting the reaction I want/etc'… It can be an exciting journey to get to know our own self, mind, actual likes & dislikes, and the amount of energy and where to direct that energy so it affects the changes needed. All of us need tweaking to be the person we want to be, and in turn, attract the types of people we want in our life.

Mid-Winter Blahs...

Ugh. I'm trying to stay busy, but have been totally out of commission for weeks due to the dreaded pneumonia. Xmas was very quiet here with my fiancé, but we like it that way-sorta. Why is it that I feel so left out when not in some ultimate daze of the holiday spirit? Is it the commercialism? The fact that we were so broke this year? I do love shopping for gifts, but could that be the only reason why I couldn't get in to the 'proper spirit'? I decorated a little to make the home more cheery, but we both have small families, so there is no "Feast Royale". We have each other and that is enough, but I still miss the Christmas excitement of a child, visiting relatives, and turkey. 

On my 36th birthday the pneumonia hit me hardest, Jan 2nd, the most dreaded back-to-work day of the year. I spent the night in the E.R. I am very thankful to have a person in my life who cares about me, and loves me, and knows all about the past without reservation. He takes very good care of us, but we are not very happy in Upstate NY. The winters are a long stream of grey, cold, rainy, snowy, urban days, with on street parking and no garden to grow in. I think we need to make a change to somewhere with sunshine and beach cruiser bikes. A cute cottage to paint, a nice yard to work on, and a studio space for art and woodworking is the dream. 

So, I toil on with beads and jewelry making, my girlfriend has a shop where I can showcase a few items, and that is very exciting. I have every bit of material I could possibly need or want in order to create stuff, paint, sculpt, etc, and that is what has kept my mind occupied while deciding to continue with school, the bachelor's, another dream.

Falling Away in Upstate NY

At the end of every August and the beginning of every September there is both the day the light changes, and the day the smell in the air changes. For me, those days are filled with melancholy and the anticipation of a long cold winter. Depression begins poke through the last days of the 8pm sunset. But then the fall sweater weather, leaves crunching underfoot, apple picking, and my favorite holiday remind me that autumn isn't so bad. Halloween has always been my favorite holiday, and over the years more and more people have been decorating their homes and businesses. I love the ghouls, skulls, skeletons, and all the creatures of the night mingled with pumpkin and cinnamon. Dia de los Muertos is such a beautiful holiday to embrace; how cool is it that we get to remember and revere our lost loved ones and dance with them through the night.

Happy Halloween & Dias de los Muertos!

Interconnected Life

There is a Mahayana Buddhist/Hindu Creation Story about the non-duality of the universe that comments on the idea of Interconnectedness called  the story of Indra's Net. Like the countless glittering jewels of Indra's Net, we are all reflections of each other and all living things. In this way, the decisions, thoughts, movements, and energies we put out into the world effect countless others in both subtle and gross ways. The imagery is gorgeous, captivating, and when contemplating, very compelling. Though a thing of unfathomable beauty, this net can be treacherous; reflecting our ugliness, harms, violence, and intentions both for good & evil. 

I believe in this story and upon deeper reflection, can see exactly how it has and continues to work in the universe. It is also a commentary on karma; everything comes back around to us in a cosmic boomerang meeting out fate. In the most positive light, I enjoy using this imagery to describe how I feel about how the individual creates, and feeds, not only our own soul, but also souls of all who come in contact with our creations. Like the 'gross' versions of artwork, cooking, growing, feeding; and the subtler ways we encounter people on a daily basis- smiling at someone on the street or just greeting the local store owner with a hearty hello, we effect each other untold ways.

I made a promise to myself to be more aware of my own actions and intentions toward others, to take some responsibility and control over my 'body, speech, and mind'. Shantideva's teachings in "The Way of the Bodhisattva", among many other Buddhist teachings, approached with an open contemplating intellect, helped me to understand the crazy nature of the mind, and understand that meditation and awareness are great tools for the ever distracted mind -- a charge only we humans are blessed and cursed to possess. 

And so that is a tiny bit of backstory on my philosophy and the reason for the name of the blog. My artworkings are my outlet, my main means of expressing what has always been rather a sordid group of emotions high and low. I am not a commercial artist, and anything I post here is nothing I have sold, or have tried to sell. I may open an Etsy shop someday, but for now I just like sharing, and most of the stuff I make are gifts for others, stuff for improving my own abode, or photos of cool stuff I find out and about.

Namaste for today!

FAR AWAY IN THE HEAVENLY ABODE OF THE GREAT GOD INDRA, THERE IS A WONDERFUL NET WHICH HAS BEEN HUNG BY SOME CUNNING ARTIFICER IN SUCH A MANNER THAT IT STRETCHES OUT INDEFINITELY IN ALL DIRECTIONS. IN ACCORDANCE WITH THE EXTRAVAGANT TASTES OF DEITIES, THE ARTIFICER HAS HUNG A SINGLE GLITTERING JEWEL AT THE NET'S EVERY NODE, AND SINCE THE NET ITSELF IS INFINITE IN DIMENSION, THE JEWELS ARE INFINITE IN NUMBER. THERE HANG THE JEWELS, GLITTERING LIKE STARS OF THE FIRST MAGNITUDE, A WONDERFUL SIGHT TO BEHOLD. IF WE NOW ARBITRARILY SELECT ONE OF THESE JEWELS FOR INSPECTION AND LOOK CLOSELY AT IT, WE WILL DISCOVER THAT IN ITS POLISHED SURFACE THERE ARE REFLECTED ALL THE OTHER JEWELS IN THE NET, INFINITE IN NUMBER. NOT ONLY THAT, BUT EACH OF THE JEWELS REFLECTED IN THIS ONE JEWEL IS ALSO REFLECTING ALL THE OTHER JEWELS, SO THAT THE PROCESS OF REFLECTION IS INFINITE THE AVATAMSAKA SUTRA FRANCIS H. COOK: HUA-YEN BUDDHISM : THE JEWEL NET OF INDRA 1977